The Worst Feeling In the World

The worst feeling in the world is knowing every time you say goodbye to your mom it is in her head that that might be the last time she ever sees you alive. I guess its my fault, I'm the depressed one with a scar on my wrist. I wish things could go back to normal, but I'm not sure things will ever be the way they once were. I'm never going to get to go home and not get asked about whether I'm taking my medicine and whether or not I think it is working. I just want their trust back. My friends and my families trust is something I need. I'm fighting like hell. Some people don't recognize that. Each day I wake up I go to war with myself. The negative thoughts, the lack of energy, and the lack of interest are a struggle for me everyday. I wish it wasn't that way. Either I have to get through it and maintain a sense of happiness in my life or let it get the best of me and end up back in the hospital or locked up in my room. The hard part is knowing that someone has given up on me. Especially since I would have never given up on him. However, there is nothing I can do about it now. But it does motivate me to prove him wrong everyday. Normalcy is no longer an option for me now... but happiness is. And I'm going to fight with all that's within me till I find it.