Men Come In Different Shades... Its How We Are Made

I feel like im punished for not being the typical 20 year old asshole kid who's main goal in life is to get laid. My goal in life is to enrich the lives of the people i care about. I'm not perfect and i make mistakes, but for the most part my intentions are good. Then i walk around campus and see girls paying more attention to the assholes wearing polos and sunglasses (even though the sun isn't out). Maybe there's something i don't see in those kinda guys. Maybe their is a flaw in me that i don't see. The more i talk to people about it the more they say i need to lower the expectations on myself... that i shouldn't strive to be perfect. That's Not An Option For Me. Its my everything or nothing. I refuse to quit before i become the man i know i can be. One of my Dr.'s said "Ryan living with those expectations for yourself will kill you." My response was then i guess i'm going to die tryin'. No man is ever complete, but if you give up trying to be perfect you finish your life as something less. Most men take that road. That road doesn't appeal to me... at all. I want to be the best i can be, and i believe that is respectable. Yet, i spend nights alone asking myself why i am alone. Unfortunately the answer i keep coming to is im not ready. I have to wait for the perfect girl to come around, but it isnt enough to sit their and wait, i have to keep working on myself so that ill be ready when i get my chance. It sucks waiting. It really does. But if it gets me to where i want to be... then it will be well worth the wait.